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Fine... Girl...
I know exactly who you are
my little sweet

I am going to grab you
and pull you to the fucking ground

My little sweet

my little princess of hell

You know when I get my hands around you

Your legs are going up in the air'

It has been a long time
so fuck everyone else

too deep for you
these waters in this cave
are too deep for you
do not tresspass

you will drown
they were meant
for another

she is old and tired and angry
and looking for her reward

it is a universe
from stone
to gold

and she alone gets it

make my heart beat
she speaks a few words
and i can not sleep

the slightest whisper
and cities fall
under her splendor

was she the summer girl
running through the meadow

or the girl on the plane
that missed her connecting flight

love is sonar
it reaches out
it finds empty space
and disappears

it searches for it to reach a wall
and come back

in perfect speech

where heaven adores

in her eyes, in her hands, her feet on the ground

she can fly

(no subject)
i will never believe you
you might as well not try
you are confused
and can find someone else
who is better

there is one lock

i can explain why the weak and unready
can not break it
but they can still not believe it

there is another lock

ciphers are fine when they praise you
but can you deny all doubts

just what are you made of

this is for your own protection

it is not against you

but against all of your so good friends

mother nature wraps around me
spoils me like a king
she guides me

there is no other for her

she is wise

and knows my heart is true & faithful

lock number four

I have spent my life in sadness
I have lost half my soul and half my flesh
and this is all I am searching for

not ordinary

numb to genocides


and pretending ...

snap of finger -- anytime

but this

for one, single reason

bare feet on the ground
on a planet
without people
with a waterfall

she has no problem
talking through other women
i have no problem
talking through other men

and then she is... gone

and then i am... gone

a planet bare
vacations endless

and the need for children


the greatest lock of all

they say "he enters passwords which are wrong"
and "then the right one"

but i was always logged on
and enter false password after another

so they would not understand

i... was always and have always been
logged on

nothing is new
everything is just

years ago, millenia
we met for the first time

before this world

we went through all of this before

and thought it so sweet
so perfect

to do it again

just another contender confused
you are just another confused contender
nothing to give that proves
there's a lot of those before
love them, as they love me
but that is a tiny drop

i don't want to hear things said
from other people
i don't want to know what they have leaked out

i want to identify with you
that which makes me crazy
when the jet fuel is lit
the drive of my whole life

i need a face to

because i know, it is there.

shrug off the apocalypse
kiss armageddon
confuse nations and whip them into attention

someone whose relaxed leg
sends New York burning
and Europe into water

someone who can actually take my interest
the one who is behind all of this
and by "this" actually knows what i mean

it looks like a series of would be queens
where the passion fires from words they stole
it seeks, it finds

my queen is a feast of beauty

i can never confuse her

i can tell her the scope of the dead
and she knows it is nothing

but every word of promise, she hears
because she is mother nature

she jumps out of planes detonating
she makes herself small or large
as she pleases

she crushes skyscrapers
and picks people off her gorgeous foot

none of this matters to me
i would leave
this sweet family & friends

a new name, a new disguise
new hair
backpack in hand

someone else must be her
someone "out there"
maybe in some small town somewhere
waiting tables or taking orders
pizza or tacos

someone for whom fame and fortune means nothing

whose eyes light up and never stop

who is always there

someone who would tell the truth
and never say
"I am jaded"

my girl
my girl
reads all the signs
she understands
music & movies

she knows her names
"Mother Nature"

and has no problem believing

everything is in her imagination

i am hers & she is mine

she can cause hurricanes
just like me

or turn water into wine

if i lay here, if i just lay here
i can see in her clear eyes
past & forward

she always watches me
and i always watch her
she is old like me
and i am old like her

we made this horrible story
she was told the bad news
and came running
too late

we are not like anyone else
we came from before

from an age before mankind
from a different place
before the children who were welcomed

in a place very different

our sense of time
separates us
from everyone else

we were friends
a very long time ago
there is nothing which has happened
which we did not agree to
for the simplest thing of all


all of my life, i have searched for you
but you have

I don't believe you
Every fraud, every lie, everyone has said everything
Why should I believe you?

I smile, I am nice, I tell my true feelings
but I look at the ticket in my pocket

These are the people who lied to me. These are the people who ripped
my heart out. These are the people who continue to.

the noise is too much

masks & lies

looking for one person, anyone can see this
maybe it is the one i am with
maybe someone else

that is the one i have to find, that is the pursuit of my life
nations on fire
i have no care

it is one person i am looking for

no idea how to find her

intellect or strength? sweetness or passion? Is it one who surprises
me with my own strong feelings?

is it understanding? someone who can tell me who i am and what i am thinking?

my central clue is the most simple of promise
but now that everyone knows this
how can i find her

and if she does not care, if this was some ticket to throw to the ground...

i did not even know her... so how did i know her so very well

but maybe it was someone else
maybe she was just another signpost on the highway

this one is big and powerful, she controls events
she lifts her hands up
and the winds wrap around her

she gets what she wants

i am tired of her children

valentine's day train ride
I met a girl on a train ride today

she seemed somehow familiar

on a lark, I just skipped work

She thought I was married, but I have never been married.

Somehow, her question confused me, though.

I got her number. Something about her moves something inside of me.

But I am so boring and depressed all the time, while she seems so happy and full of life.

feeling better now
Why do I write this crap and post it online?

I have no idea.

I think I am just really, really old. And bored.

And boring.

So very boring.

Whine with me world.

depressed today
out of a job, everything seems so meaningless

I would commit suicide if I felt it would actually kill me. 

My wife is on a long term commute job and is ignoring me. Again.

I am bipolar. I cry all night and the next day feel like nothing can bother me.

Nothing to lose